I seriously should be banned from blogging, considering how awful I am at writing regularly! However, I just read my blogs from Germany (the few I wrote) and really enjoyed them! I'm glad I wrote what I did. I'm so seriously almost done with college! Next week is my last week of classes and I have 2 presentations and 2 papers to write. Yikes! I can't wait to turn in the last paper!
I'll have time to read all the books I want and study all the languages I've been dying to learn (Farsi, Arabic, Somali). I'm gearing up to return to Germany in September and go through waves of excitement and apprehension. I still need to find sufficient funding, but I know that God will provide. I simply have to surrender. I am so bad at that! I like to control and plan. Well, somethings just take time and that kills me! I think for me surrendering and simply resting will forever be a battle and a lesson to be learned again and again.
I've recently been examining my heart for refugees and where it comes from exactly. It was a process, beginning when it was small and flourishing in Germany. I remember always loving having people from all over the world in our house and how normal it was. But the real core reason of my passion, where does it come from? It's hard to describe I guess. It's almost as if I lose myself when I am with my refugee friends. I just kind of fade away and I don't care about anything else but the person right in front of me and how much they have value and are loved. I just want to be a light in their life, someone who offers them a smile and friendship. Simple friendship means so much and its so easy to give. It's amazing too how God works through friendship. He shows himself through the way you love someone. You may not always see the effect of your friendship but it definitely makes a lasting impact. I guess this is a prayer of mine - to become a better more Christ-like friend. Sometimes I think that I myself, Abbey am good enough and kind enough to love someone on my own. Then I am always brought low when I realize, in fact, it is only when I invite Christ to be part of the relationship that I can truly love someone. On my own, I can be a good friend but with Christ I can be a friend that changes someone's life, which is because Christ actually does it...not me.
As I graduate from college, I am closing a chapter of my life that in a way was planned for me. I guess what I mean by this is that in the past all of my decisions were basically structured and I knew what was expected. Now, the future is a wide open canvas and I can paint any map and direction on it that I want. This is daunting, exciting and overwhelming. I am becoming an adult and I have to make real adult decisions. After May 20th, I will officially be a college graduate. I am excited to see what this next year holds and all the things I am going to learn. I can't help but wonder though, where will I be headed in a year?
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